Parenting Support
Children and teens have different priorities than adults. They have a harder time making transitions, struggle with feeling powerless, and have varying degrees of self-discipline. They can only respond to so many orders before they shut down or act out.
According to The Parent’s Handbook, kids have four goals in misbehaving: attention, power, revenge, or sympathy. Each of these comes through in a particular way. For example, children and teens seek attention - in fact, connection - in order to feel that they belong. When they need to have a sense of control, they will try to exercise power. Revenge is taken on a parent when the child feels hurt. They will display inadequacy as a bid for a sympathetic response. Behaviors often look similar, but your own response can provide clues to their motivation. For example, attention-seeking may irritate you. If you're feeling full-blown anger, that is often a response to your kid's power play. When you feel hurt, your child is probably out for revenge. And if your child is claiming to helpless with some task or other, you may notice your own feelings of inadequacy. Armed with this kind of knowledge, it is easier to address misbehavior productively.
Your child's psychological health comprises four "domains": school, peers, family, and community. When children do not respond to your interventions, it may be time to seek outside help. Likewise if there are seemingly intractable problems in school or in their social spheres, and certainly if they have had traumatic experiences, therapy can provide workable, long-term solutions.
According to The Parent’s Handbook, kids have four goals in misbehaving: attention, power, revenge, or sympathy. Each of these comes through in a particular way. For example, children and teens seek attention - in fact, connection - in order to feel that they belong. When they need to have a sense of control, they will try to exercise power. Revenge is taken on a parent when the child feels hurt. They will display inadequacy as a bid for a sympathetic response. Behaviors often look similar, but your own response can provide clues to their motivation. For example, attention-seeking may irritate you. If you're feeling full-blown anger, that is often a response to your kid's power play. When you feel hurt, your child is probably out for revenge. And if your child is claiming to helpless with some task or other, you may notice your own feelings of inadequacy. Armed with this kind of knowledge, it is easier to address misbehavior productively.
Your child's psychological health comprises four "domains": school, peers, family, and community. When children do not respond to your interventions, it may be time to seek outside help. Likewise if there are seemingly intractable problems in school or in their social spheres, and certainly if they have had traumatic experiences, therapy can provide workable, long-term solutions.